WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Welcome.

Have some chill. Just in case you thought that link would lead you to a dialogue box where you’d have to type in YES/NO, my apologies. I have only asked this question in my dreams (I think), so don’t be too quick to answer. Now let’s come back to reality before you’re irritated by all this absurdity. It would be way too obvious to state that the talk of the town especially among Royal Circles now is marriage. It’s probably the only topic not in our final year syllabus but we all take delight talking about much more than we even talked about relationships in SS3. So as weird as this may seem, I’ve been tempted enough to dabble into it. By the way, don’t take the words of an ‘unmarried’ man too seriously.

‘Will you marry me?’ would probably stand as the single most important question a person would ask another in his lifetime. In a distant second, would probably be ‘where is my money?’…lol! As much as many of us have not even thought about how and when we would ask the question, at least some of us have dreamt of it happening. Some may even have funny fantasies of a dinner on a mountain top with a helicopter close by or a billboard that pops that question just as the guy kneels at a BRT bus-stop (I’m sure our ladies are somewhere else now). The ones that have my respect however, are the ones man enough to ask the million dollar question and more so those crazy enough to go ahead and tie the nuptial knot. Of the others (mostly you and me), half are still waiting to get to their ideal ‘mind age’. You’d hear things like ‘I’m old enough but my mind is not ready’. The other half would just keep waiting, denying proposals, dumping girls, just waiting, probably for menopause to set in or till the point where they are auctioned on OLX by their parents.

I’m not about to give anybody any lectures about what marriage should be or should not or when it’s ideal to get married, I just want to make some things clear.

First, is the fact that ‘we are no longer children’ and as much as we hate to admit, we are getting older and we will get married soon. That simply means that we should ordinarily start getting used to the fact that some of us would come to that reality earlier than others. So generally, it’s that time of our lives where wedding bells begin to ring loudest, where we’d start donning aso-ebi week after week and leaving a bridal train for another person’s naming ceremony - It’s about that time!

Second, while I personally think some of us may not necessarily need to rush into marriage, if you’ve found the one and you’re sure, you could as well tie the knot before someone else ties it on your behalf. It’s important to know that some ladies especially have no chill when it comes to marriage. They won’t readily admit it till you see how seriously they take planning bridal showers for their friends or how desperately they want to catch the bouquet. To be honest, marriage is not a thing to be ashamed of, whether early or late, so a little notice to us unmarried folks about your wedding plans, marriage hopefuls, even if they are simple would prevent us from being at risk of cardiac arrest from the shock of the news.

The third thing is: it’s no ‘Muslim brother’ thing, as many have resorted to believing. Those PMs on BBM still make me laugh up till now, making guesses about the next Muslim brother to get married. Come to think of it, I doubt there’s any religion that forbids the early marriage of two adults; please correct me if I’m wrong. As far as I know, Islam only encourages early marriage as a means to curb immoral sexual practices, so I guess some people were only trying to do things right as permitted by their faith. We cannot but respect that. The challenge now lies with Christian brothers to defy the odds and set the freaking pace.

The truth is every man has his race to run and we all have our peculiarities, wants, desires, hopes and aspirations and they all lie at different levels on our priority list. So regardless of how shocking or absurd some decisions may sound, it’s just best to respect them. Henceforth, please don’t ask me questions like: ‘How would they survive?’ ‘Do they have a source of income?’ ‘Would they be living together?’ Would they be allowed to have sex?’ ‘Hope it’s not that the girl is pregnant?’ All these questions shall only be answered by my “Oga at the Top” of the heavens and the earth, Baba God!

Till then, when will you marry too?

Yusuf Shittu


Pic credit: google images